In today’s world, being – and parenting – a teen can be complex, overwhelming, and intimidating, with so many tough issues and distractions. Some teens are more complacent or seem to lack that burning drive, while others are self-driven, steadfastly college-bound, or already bringing inventions to life.
If your teen is lower on the ambition spectrum or simply wants to identify and develop the habits that might help them excel at a higher level, there are some common traits that tend to produce the most impressive, impactful, and high-achieving teens and young adults. In fact, Sean Covey wrote a best-selling book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens” to offer teens and parents a helpful road map for just this.
We’ve added the Impressive Teens’ spin, embellishing and adapting Covey’s seven habits to cultivate the most effective, go-getter teens who will be equipped to make major dents on the world with their accomplishments.
- They Are Independent Learners (They’re Proactive)
Naturally, a teenager who is effective when it comes to accomplishing goals is going to be a proactive lover of learning, and this includes learning both in and outside of the classroom. Successful teenagers love learning (even without the peer pressure of a required classroom exercise), so they proactively take advantage of all resources at their disposal when they’re in school. They study their subjects well but realize that some of the most important things are better learned outside the classroom. For example, these proactive and knowledge-hungry teens often pursue healthy habits, like independent reading and listening to informative and educational podcasts. They also seek out various thought-provoking exercises and value hands-on experience in intriguing subjects outside their core academic curriculum.
These students are prime candidates to seek out summer internships, industry-specific apprenticeships, online courses, and other independent opportunities to increase their exposure to new skills and potential areas of interest. Being a proactive independent learner can foreshadow a future leader for countless teens, and parents should foster and encourage curious students’ outside-the-classroom pursuits.
- They Plan Ahead (They Begin with the End in Mind)
It is said that most people who fail at something do not plan to fail, they just fail to plan. However, the most important prerequisite to planning ahead and making better decisions is having awareness of where you actually want to end up in your own life. Teens who make the most effective decisions and greatest strides of progress towards their goals have a clear vision of what victory looks like for them.
If your teen isn’t yet sure what they want to pursue as a career, it’s a great idea to encourage them to craft a picture of the life they want to live, their personal mission statement, some bigger-picture feats they want to accomplish, and some smaller stepping stones worth pursuing on the way there.
Does this mean that your student’s plan will remain the same forever? Of course not. That said, the more specific the plan is, the more likely it’ll be successful in the end.
That means including deadlines, bite-sized milestones, and measurable tasks that will build their skills and take them one step closer to their desired finish line. Sometimes this means seeking out engaging activities that will further their knowledge, and other times it means crafting their own opportunities that didn’t initially exist. Either way, highly effective teens take the initiative to move towards their goals, no matter how grand or far off they seem.
- They Have Incredible Discipline (They Put First Things First)
It is said that when you want something bad enough, you’ll do anything to get it, and this starts with having excellent discipline. Successful and ambitious teenagers have a lot of good habits, but in addition to discipline, one of those habits is being able to prioritize the most important and time-sensitive tasks and juggle a variety of concurrent responsibilities. High school teens who master the discipline to prioritize and balance high-stakes and time-sensitive tasks may also act as effective leaders to help delegate work appropriately among team members while working calmly and efficiently under pressure.
A disciplined work ethic and the ability to smartly prioritize competing tasks is one of the most important character traits for college-bound teenagers who will soon have to juggle an array of classes, clubs, internship applications, and a social life. Simply put, honing their discipline and ability to prioritize in a chaotic environment isn’t just a helpful skill for college, but rather it’s a necessary trait for people to lead a successful life and accomplish big goals.
- They Never Quit (They Think Win-Win)
No one is successful at everything they do, but most successful people live by a very important rule: never give up, never quit, and do your best work, even in difficult times. There’s a caveat here: Sometimes winning isn’t a unilateral or solo endeavor, and the most successful and effective people and teens don’t just think about winning for themselves, but rather they try to cultivate positive outcomes and healthy relationships for both them and their peers or counterparts. These people listen to positive messages and ignore the negative ones, collaboratively working towards joint goals. Furthermore, their sense of self-worth doesn’t decline if or when they occasionally stumble or fall, since the camaraderie of a shared goal or mutually beneficial solution reinforces their drive.
The unique thing about these highly effective teens is that while they never quit, they also aim to live and succeed by a high moral and ethical code. Therefore, they care just as much about the integrity of the journey as they do the ultimate outcome.
College-bound teenagers would benefit greatly from approaching more tasks and goals with a team-oriented win-win attitude, as many classes, clubs, and future jobs will require multiple parties to work together and arrive at a joint solution that’s optimal for all. This is a great way to prepare students for the reality that life is not lived isolated, but rather we exist in a society, and many people rely on others to facilitate their success and reach their dreams.
- They Are Always Paying Attention (They Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood)
One of the biggest detriments that hinders young people’s success is their desire to be heard, rather than to listen to others. On the contrary, the smartest and most successful people in the world have time and again attributed their success to listening first, then subsequently – once they fully understand the topic – adding their contribution.
Successful teens should engage in active listening and employ critical thinking skills, both when taking classes, as well as when meeting interesting people or learning something new outside the classroom.
Many teens and people who haven’t trained themselves to actively pay attention, listen, and soak in as much knowledge as possible from the world and reliable sources around them don’t realize how much they may miss. Learning and listening isn’t just a student-teacher classroom activity or something used to obtain good grades. Instead, this is a skill that can elevate a person’s awareness and serve as inspiration for innovative solutions, novel ideas, new inventions, and new business opportunities.
- They Consider Responsibility an Important Trait (They Synergize)
When it comes to life skills, having a sense of responsibility is important. Successful teenagers concentrate on the personal responsibility of both proposing solutions and seeking out collaborators with whom to synergize. These teens are aware that two heads may be better than one, and they deem themselves responsible for ferreting out those opportunities for joint brainstorming.
Furthermore, these teenagers don’t view the accomplishments of others as a threat, but rather as inspiration on which to piggyback. College-bound teens may be tasked with projects in which there is little structure and no designated leader, and the most effective and inclusive teens will step up to the plate and take responsibility for facilitating a synergistic working environment. They don’t sit back and wait for instruction or hope collaboration and teamworking opportunities will come to them; they take bold, but socially thoughtful steps to make them happen.
- They Take Advantage of Available Resources (They Sharpen the Saw)
While it may be obvious that ambitious young people take advantage of the available student resources at their fingertips, the most effective ones go a step farther and sharpen the saw, meaning challenge themselves to improve in multiple aspects of life.
Intellectually, they ask comprehension questions and probe deeper into confusing or complex topics, in addition to delving into the resources at hand. Socially, they sharpen their situational awareness and emotional maturity through participating in clubs, organizations, extracurricular activities, and other activities that get them outside their comfort zone and expose them to more opportunities, disciplines, and viewpoints.
Spiritually, they aim to create or search for meaning within their lives and futures, be that through religious practices or self-help books or podcasts. Physically, they attempt to remain healthy and fit, treating their body and mind like temples to facilitate the greatest place for productive, effective decision-making.
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